part 3--Pity the poor publisher!

Digital Dilemma. Digital Dilemma. Digital Dilemma. Dearest reader, please, sayittentimesFAST! Go ahead! Betcha can't...

Around 3am I slowly awoke, only to realize I was writing this damn blog in my sleep. As I reached for my super secret special undercover touch screen unit-a prototype of the rarest kind, made of unobtain-e-um and carbon fiber, featuring an e-reader so fabulous, so incredible, made by Micro-Apple-Plastic Logicians-so freaking monumental, if word got out, paper books would self-immolate, and oh. oh sorry, chill. THAT was in my dream.

So I grabbed Mr. Iphone and wrote this provocative line: THE HARDCOVER WILL BE THE FIRST TO GO! Oh man, so scary! Publishers throughout the world rolled over, 5,000 thread egyptian cotton sheets rustling, I HEARD IT I am telling you! Ugh! Like, man, I am starting to feel real bad, real guilty! Pity the poor publisher...

From this moment forth, until my thougts run dry, let's call the gasping old
book biz DINO. Ok? So DINO needs Hardcovers, oh yes. Do reg-lar folks?

Hardcovers are not fun to carry. They take up so much space in our
backpacks and brief cases and purses and man-bags. (dirty secret: I
loooovveee man-bags. I have, like, 20 or something. I am not normal).

They also cost way too much. In particular, if you just laid down 3 or
4 large on an e-reader, me-thinks your hardcover buying days are
numbered. And when we all have the same snazzy tablet in our bags,
color and wi-fi with magazine and newspapers and porn and gps and
pictures of Tiger and that endless line up of these so-SO hot babes
etcetc- FACE it! No hardcovers! Gonzo!

Quiz: how much more than a paperback does it cost to print a
hardcover? Oh reader, I know I am asking alot of you. Really. You lead
a busy life. You don't want to spend too much time on this. So, I will
answer! Me me, call on me! The answer is??? Not much more. If you are
printing a bunch? Not much more at all... Bbbbbuuutt hey! Don't they COST like double? HHHmmmmmm.... This wicket is wicked sticky.