I am happily hanging out at la gward-ee-a aero-porto. One of my regular stomping grounds. I am a fracking expert at surviving modern travel. Everyone will tell you it sucks, and there is little doubt that the "nice" has been slowly excised from the process.
Winfield believes strongly in not whining about crap you can't effect. Air travel is one of those things. I EMBRACE the horror. I observe the pitiful human condition. I survive to fly another day.
Flash back to.... Late 80's, early 90's. Walk into a waiting lounge. Walk down the aisle. What did you see??????
Books! Lots of books! Guys with Ludlum and Grisham, chicks with Conroy and Steel. No cell phones. Very few laptops. Books and papers and magazines....
Tonight? Out of about 50 people, 4 papers, 5 magazines. 5 books. Guess what the other 36 were doing?
I am sure you won the gold star.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Frick, Frack, brain attack!
Here at the Winfield office complex, we have little time for such idle pursuits like watching TV. We tend to look down on the Idiot Box, since after all, we are literary types. The purity-nay, perfection-of the written word, set in inky black, nestled on creamy white paper...
Wow, I fracking spaced there! Transported, fleetingly, to a tiny trattoria, steps away from the Piazza San Marco, Eggy linguine slathered in salty black squid ink, the smell of excrement floating close, and...
Yikes!!! WTF? So much effluvia in my simple head, I cannot seem to focus. Honestly, I have been oh-so-confused these last few days... I broke down-yes Winfield fans, I have failed-and watched a silly sci-fi show on the boobie toobie! And I am a lesser man for it.
Caprica. Caprica. Hell, I don't begin to know how to pronounce it! It's like way in the future, but they drive cool OLD cars, and there is conflict! Religions fighting for supremacy, mass murder of innocent people, and wacky avatar technology turning everything on its head! And just to throw your scribe into an utterly confused state, Avatars have their own avatars! Yikes!!!!
The very best thing is an utter stroke of genius. Instead of using the profane terms we all know and love, or softer versions of strong words, these guys MADE UP A NEW WORD! Frack. Frack you! This is a fracking pain! Hey baby.... wanna frack???? Dear reader, this is an amazing accomplishment! How many drivel-filled tee-vee shows can claim a fabulous new swear word?
Now here is the real kicker. When the Capricians want their portable computer device, they just pick up a sheet of paper. And it is a screen, a "tablet" of sorts, totally portable, and if you don't like what you see, just roll it into a ball, and play garbage-can basketball. Talk about multi-platform-content-delivery-easy-to-use!
The point being, all of the crazy fracking events of the last few weeks will sort themselves out. The world will need great content and smart focused marketing.... No matter what the frack it is displayed on.
Wow, I fracking spaced there! Transported, fleetingly, to a tiny trattoria, steps away from the Piazza San Marco, Eggy linguine slathered in salty black squid ink, the smell of excrement floating close, and...
Yikes!!! WTF? So much effluvia in my simple head, I cannot seem to focus. Honestly, I have been oh-so-confused these last few days... I broke down-yes Winfield fans, I have failed-and watched a silly sci-fi show on the boobie toobie! And I am a lesser man for it.
Caprica. Caprica. Hell, I don't begin to know how to pronounce it! It's like way in the future, but they drive cool OLD cars, and there is conflict! Religions fighting for supremacy, mass murder of innocent people, and wacky avatar technology turning everything on its head! And just to throw your scribe into an utterly confused state, Avatars have their own avatars! Yikes!!!!
The very best thing is an utter stroke of genius. Instead of using the profane terms we all know and love, or softer versions of strong words, these guys MADE UP A NEW WORD! Frack. Frack you! This is a fracking pain! Hey baby.... wanna frack???? Dear reader, this is an amazing accomplishment! How many drivel-filled tee-vee shows can claim a fabulous new swear word?
Now here is the real kicker. When the Capricians want their portable computer device, they just pick up a sheet of paper. And it is a screen, a "tablet" of sorts, totally portable, and if you don't like what you see, just roll it into a ball, and play garbage-can basketball. Talk about multi-platform-content-delivery-easy-to-use!
The point being, all of the crazy fracking events of the last few weeks will sort themselves out. The world will need great content and smart focused marketing.... No matter what the frack it is displayed on.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The world turns... SOFRICKINGFAST!
All right, so if you slept through the weekend you missed a seminal moment in the trials and tribulations of our old friend Sandy. (Good ol' publishing gal, spends a lot of time with her head in the SAND). If you would recall, Sandy has been wringing her hands for so long, the skin is pretty much gone. If her sweat-soaked sheets could talk, they would tell a tortured tale of sadness and loss, regret and remorse. Amazon! Borders! Costco! Discounts! E-Books! Frankfurt! Google! Hell! Ingram! Margins! News Group! Open Road! Piracy! Returns! Self publishing! Television! Vook! Walmart! Oh, the humanity!
A publishing executive's lot is fraught with peril and confusion, Cerberus lurking at every turn. Sandy, dear girl, couldn't even enjoy her weekend country home! Her future prospects ping-ponged twixt Amazon (see "A" above) and Apple and Sargent John, everyone calling and e-mailing, such craziness! Surely, these times of strife will soon be over, right? Books will ALWAYS be around... right?
Todays big ?????????????
Why do authors need publishers?
Answer correctly and you get a shiny gold star!
A publishing executive's lot is fraught with peril and confusion, Cerberus lurking at every turn. Sandy, dear girl, couldn't even enjoy her weekend country home! Her future prospects ping-ponged twixt Amazon (see "A" above) and Apple and Sargent John, everyone calling and e-mailing, such craziness! Surely, these times of strife will soon be over, right? Books will ALWAYS be around... right?
Todays big ?????????????
Why do authors need publishers?
Answer correctly and you get a shiny gold star!
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